Swedish Government Bans Windmilling

Posted: May 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

The Tyranny of Tradition

AsphyxBand

King Carl Gustaf XVI has become the next in a long list of world leaders to throw his weight behind the war to end all wars, The War On Metal. Using a medical controversy to justify his actions, King Gustaf has issued an edict that bans windmilling in public and private places until further notice.  The ban effects all of Sweden, and states that anyone found windmilling will be fined 10,000 krona and will be exiled to picking up litter around the fjords wearing a rotary sensitive shock collar.  

Sweden, which many may know, is famous for its Swedish fish candies and it’s ratio of 87 Viking metal bands to one synthpop band, is the windmilling capital of the world and this ban is seen as a royal overreach aimed at subduing the metal subculture into irrelevance. Many Swedes feel that this move was inspired by the recent outbreak…

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